Visited

Sally (name changed) 90+ years old, just home from the hospital is grieving the loss of her sister. I visited her last week, she was in bed recovering from a bout with COPD. Clearly beloved by her family, with her hospital bed on the first floor, surrounded by her things, paintings, and other things to bring physical comfort. "My sister died, she was younger by several years," she told me. "Not fair, I'm the oldest, I thought I got to go first." We chatted for a while, and she told me about her sister.


For years people have told me about being visited by loved ones after they die. Loved ones seem to return in dreams, by scent, and other creative ways. Today in church our preacher even mentioned something to this effect in her sermon. It's as if they return to let us know that they are all right, or maybe they just stay until we are ready to let them go. She pointed out to us the sacredness of these experiences that few of us feel comfortable talking about. Yet, as a priest, someone who is privileged to hear what some fear to talk about, I hear this a lot. Our preacher pointed out that we need spiritual friends and a community where it is safe to talk about these holy experiences.


I took a chance and asked Sally "has your sister visited you in your dreams?" Her eyes got wide and she looked at me with that, "how did you know?" look. "Yes, she has," she whispered, "and she told me she is o.k." I told Sally that I was happy that her sister was able to tell her that she is o.k.


This afternoon I called a friend whose mother just died. They were very close. Her mother was a wonderful woman. I dreamed she come to a meeting I was in with a plate of cookies-that we were trying to politely decline. Are cookies fattening even if they are dream cookies? Anyway, her mother said, "you just have to have some sweetness in life." Of course she is right.


I wonder about these 'near life' experiences. They are sacred, holy, and a blessing. Do they happen to everyone? I could tell that both Sally and my friend were glad I brought it up. When loved ones die, we really do like to talk about it to people who won't think us nuts.



What do you think? Have this ever happened to you? I'm listening.